


Of GodFather's and Panic Attacks

by FBIEpidemic



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 21:46:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15916884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBIEpidemic/pseuds/FBIEpidemic
Summary: Harvey has a panic attack and stumbles upon some life changing news





	Of GodFather's and Panic Attacks

**Author's Note:**

> Are they kinda out of character? Yeah. Did I do that on purpose because I really want Mike and Harvey to hug? Duh.

Harvey Specter is an enigma but most importantly, he is a man of sophistication. And the first rule of sophistication is not getting shit faced and ending up at you associate and ex-associate apartment with a face covered in blood and a head pounding to the beat of We Didn’t Start the Fire. 

“Harvey?” 

Why is it that every time he needs one of them, the other shows up at the door?

Instead of her blue-eyed, overeager, puppy resembling counterpart, Rachel Zane stands at the door looking as if he is the last thing she expects to see. Which, given the spaced relationship between the three of them as of late, doesn’t come to any surprise.

“I-I-I messed up,” Harvey mumbles, his breath reeks of alcohol but as a current law student, it is a scent she is accustomed to. “I slept with Louis’ sister and they’re gonna put me on suspension. I know it.” He shuffles forward and Rachel has to move out of the left to get out of his way. 

“Mike!” Rachel yells, shutting the door behind Harvey as stumbles the rest of the way in. “Mike, Harvey needs you!”

As much as she would like to act like her relationship with Harvey is like the one he has with Mike, she knows that the older man has yet to trust her on the level of which he trusts Mike. She fears that they’ll never reach that level but she accepts her fear as long as Mike and Harvey remain as close as they are now.

“Jesus,” Mike grumbles upon the sight of Harvey and such an evolution is fair given Harvey’s situation. 

Harvey pays Mike’s surprised look little mind as he continues on his drunken stumble towards the younger man. “I’m sorry, Mike.” 

The sincerity in Harvey’s voice unsettles Mike and Rachel’s drawn up eyebrows means it’s doing the same thing to her. Mike attempts to deflect,” well showing up drunk at my apart-”

Harvey shakes his head, gruffly cutting Mike off,” not this. Mike, I’m sorry it wasn’t me who nominated you for Junior partner.”

Given the way things have been lately Mike should have known Harvey would be off a little and so when Jack gave Mike the speech about being ready for Junior Partner, Mike knew it was coming at this price. 

“It doesn’t matter-”

“-course it does!” Harvey seems to pale in the poor lighting but the lighting can’t take all of the blame. “You’re my associate! I should have-”

Mike had witnessed one panic attack, just one, and Rachel had only heard about it and yet both neither needed to voice their need to never witness another. So when Harvey took a shuddering breath, one that sounded like he was sucking the air out of a half-empty bag, both drew closer. 

“Hey, hey,” Mike closes the distance between them with ease,” what’s going on?” A panic of Mike’s own is bubbling to the surface and rearing its ugly head farther and farther up as Harvey loses control. 

It has to be Rachel to tell him about Esther as Harvey dissolves into a fit of gasping and clawing for air. 

It’s harder to watch than the first one.

Harvey’s hands trembling as he claws at his too-tight tie, Mike has to pull the tie apart for him. His shoulder rises as he attempts to suck in air but his shoulders ultimately tremble as they come crashing down. The paling of his face is not eased in the contrast of the brown of his coagulated blood. 

With Mike’s hand on his shoulder, Harvey seats back on the couch the rasp of his unsteady breathing taking president in his mind. He doesn't worry about this demonstration of weakness in front of Mike and Rachel. 

“Mike,” Rachel’s voice cuts through the damaging silence. “Go get him water and a breakfast bar.” 

She had read Harry Potter as a child, she knows all too well that getting food into someone who just had a panic or anxiety attack is important. She may not be a Remus Lupin in this life but he was her role model. 

“Lay down, Harvey.” Her voice is even, steady as she pushes his body down into the endless soft plush of the couch. He gives into her touch and allows her nimble hands to unbutton the top three buttons of his shirt and even to pull off his shoes. The attacks sharp knives are still twisting in his stomach but Rachel’s soft voice and reassuring hand are all it takes for him to give in. 

“I’m sorry, Rachel,” Harvey mumbles as she stays by his side, running a hand up and down his arm. 

She crouched on the floor, still eye level with him.

His eyes drift shut, giving in to the lure of the warmth of the couch and Rachel. 

“Why are you sorry, Harvey?”

He cracks an eye open, just enough to focus on her and not fall asleep. “...looks like you guys were having a nice dinner.”

Her hand comes up to run through his bloody hair, he knows he’s not in his right mind when he doesn’t push her away or at least feel bad for the blood he has to be dripping all over their sofa.

“We were,” Rachel says softly and then drops her voice as she gets closer to Harvey. “I was going to tell Mike that I’m pregnant.”

Harvey hums, unable to feel anything except the tightness in his chest and the promise of relief in sleep.

“Which means our baby is going to need a GodFather, think you’re up for that?” Rachel runs her hand through his hair again, surprised when he leans into her hand. 

“Course,” he slurs, his drunken stupor magnifying. “-even let Mike asks me ‘gain later.” 

Mike enters at that moment, oblivious to the rest of the conversation. “Let me ask what?”

Rachel shakes her head a small smile on her lips as she glances at her now sleeping accomplice,” nothing.” She stands and walks over to Mike, pulling him against her by his hips. “Come with me, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Mike makes a face,” I don’t think I can… not with Harvey on the couch.”

She rolls her eyes and pulls him towards their room,” it’s not that kind of surprise.”

“Well in that case.” 

 

 

Donna had left Harvey and, therefore, elected a new kind of difficulty for Mike and Rachel. Although secretary and partner had alike told them to not tell them something just because of their own personal problems, it was a little easier said than done. 

With Harvey’s moods spiraling from one extreme to the next, Mike never felt a soft grey area to slide into the information that Rachel is expecting and that he is thinking about proposing. The only thing he wanted less than to set off one of those bad moods was the trigger a panic attack in the older man. 

Rachel faced a similar problem with a whole new one. Whilst working with Harvey, she didn’t want Donna to think that she had chosen his side and she didn’t want Harvey to think she hadn’t chosen him. It’s a real mess of loyalties and friendships.

“Oh,” Harvey looks up from his desk, from the mountain of paperwork that he’s buried himself under. “Rachel,” he greets softly, almost disappointed that she’s not someone else. He probably still thinks that Donna’s going to come back to him.

She smiles but her agenda is not to come in here and help him with his self-loathing. No, this mission is not even for Harvey but her unborn child. “Harvey, I need to talk to you.”

He makes a face and motions at his work,” Listen, Rachel, I’ve got a lot of work to do-”

She shakes her head,” oh no. This has nothing to do with work. This has to do with the baby. So, you don’t get to veto me.” She seats down on his couch, she knows he’s not cramped for time. He’s just sitting in his office looking as miserable as possible because he’s a miserable bastard and that’s no one’s fault but his own. 

“You have to make up with Donna,” he opens his mouth to object but she cuts him off. “Not debatable. This baby,” she motions to her stomach,” it needs Mike and me, equally. Mike and I need you and Donna, equally. Understand?”

Harvey never really gets a chance to say much because Mike strolls in. He’s gotten himself pumped, and buzzed, and completely ready to ask Harvey to be his child’s Godfather. He’s so buzzed, he almost doesn’t see Rachel.

“Harv-” he stops and just stares at Rachel. “Why is she allowed on the couch?”

Without missing a beat,” she doesn’t shed.”

Mike makes a pouty face, somehow making him look even younger. “I-” he almost wants to say he doesn’t he can recall far too easily, all of the times he’s had to brush crumbs, trash, or something else off the couch from where he sat. “Okay. Well, Rachel’s gotta leave because I have to ask you about being a Godfather.”

He stands for a solid minute in the center of the room before his eyes light up as he realizes what he said. “Oh shit. Harvey-”

“Of course,” Harvey stands up out of his chair, glancing at Rachel. He gives her a nod, a promise that he’ll make things right with Donna because as he might know this little kid yet but he does know Mike. He owes Mike this. He owes Donna this. “Of course, I’ll be your kid's Godfather.”

He opens his arms, pulling Mike into a hug and leaving the younger man dumbstruck. 

“Rachel, I think I broke Harvey.”


End file.
